I often witness conversational exchanges between two people where one of the individuals expresses themselves by harshly criticizing the other: “You are always telling lies” “You don’t have any self-respect” “You never listen” “I can never trust you” “That was a dumb mistake” And so on. I will usually observe this type of exchange long… Continue reading A Slow and Painful Death
In the course of couple’s therapy I am almost always investigating the extent to which the couple is navigating their partnership. As may be imagined, the entire model of ‘partnership’ is generally broken when a couple is in crisis. It becomes essential then to reestablish parameters and potentially renegotiate how their partnership looks and works.… Continue reading Partnerships Defined – the anatomy of a good relationship
I read the other day that 91% of American adults now own cell phones. In fact, many of us have completely retired land lines. Why not? Cell phones allow us to be connected to the world, communicate in 3 different formats (voice, email, & text), and easily slide into a pocket or purse. Love ‘em… Continue reading Text Me Not
One of the things I hear A LOT when I work with couples is that “things have changed from when we were first together”. Let’s be realistic, relationships change. As we become more familiar with one another and move through our ‘histories’ – we, as people, change. We make assumptions, we project, and we may… Continue reading Benefits of Having a Snuggle Buddy – How 5 Minutes a Day Can Change Your Relationship
I can’t keep track of how many times a week I talk about removing the word YOU from statements when people are talking to one another and most importantly, the phrase “you make me”…. Let’s face it… in most cases NO ONE is MAKING you … anything. When we use the vernacular “you make me”… Continue reading No One is “Making” you….
One of the more recent labels popularized by psychology pop culture is the term “abandonment”. Clients will frequently start an introductory session with “I have abandonment issues” but it’s rare that they truly understand how those “issues” play out in defensive responses and/or daily behavior. Abandonment by definition refers to being ‘left’ and is clearly… Continue reading You Left Me…. Consequences of Feeling Abandoned
My brother recently married and with wedding season about to step into full swing I thought it appropo to share here, some of the sisterly (dusted with professional) advice that was offered. Whether you are about to be married or are deep into the commitment, the following can serve as a reminder for those little… Continue reading When Forever Feels Like A Long Time – Thoughts about Marriage