Cognitive Distortion Series: 2nd in a series of explaining what cognitive distortions are and how they negatively impact our lives and relationships. Jumping to Conclusions is also called ‘mind reading’ and ‘fortune telling’. We all do it from time to time. It’s that conversation in your head that makes a decision based on information in… Continue reading Cognitive Distortion Series – Jumping to Conclusions
Thinking: The talking of the soul to itself. - Plato What we think matters. We are listening even when we are not aware of our thoughts, they are there and we absorb the messages. For optimal mental health, we must be aware of those thoughts and challenge their validity. In session, I’ve been focusing a… Continue reading Cognitive Distortion Series – Polarized Thinking
I often witness conversational exchanges between two people where one of the individuals expresses themselves by harshly criticizing the other: “You are always telling lies” “You don’t have any self-respect” “You never listen” “I can never trust you” “That was a dumb mistake” And so on. I will usually observe this type of exchange long… Continue reading A Slow and Painful Death
I read the other day that 91% of American adults now own cell phones. In fact, many of us have completely retired land lines. Why not? Cell phones allow us to be connected to the world, communicate in 3 different formats (voice, email, & text), and easily slide into a pocket or purse. Love ‘em… Continue reading Text Me Not
One of the more recent labels popularized by psychology pop culture is the term “abandonment”. Clients will frequently start an introductory session with “I have abandonment issues” but it’s rare that they truly understand how those “issues” play out in defensive responses and/or daily behavior. Abandonment by definition refers to being ‘left’ and is clearly… Continue reading You Left Me…. Consequences of Feeling Abandoned
This is the second post inspired by Dr. Brenee Brown’s TED talk on Vulnerability. One of the statements she made was regarding ‘shame’ was “the less you talk about it – the more you have it”; a statement I feel needs more discussion. Occasionally, clients will talk about having a ‘secret’, something they’ve held onto… Continue reading Ditch the Secret – Talk About It!
You can only accept the love you think you deserve..... In a previous post, I wrote about feeling lovable, about thinking through the old, incorrect, internal messages that you may have grown up with that somehow convinced you that you "didn't deserve it" or "you weren't worth it".... but this post is really for the people… Continue reading If You Aren’t Worth It – What your partner needs to know