Yesterday I made the claim to a client that "We all are ashamed of something", which I believe to be true. Shame is a self-destructive emotion. I frequently work with clients to stare it down, share their story, acknowledge the lesson, and begin to forgive as an antidote to most shame but to do that,… Continue reading Begin with Being Vulnerable
Each of us has a set of values, hopes, dreams, and a ‘code’ that we would like to live by. Some of us are conscious of it, others ‘feel’ it, but may not be able to explain it in words. We know what all these things are because when they exist in our lives we… Continue reading Be Happy – Set Boundaries!
I am always so deeply saddened when I meet with clients who were never taught that they are lovable. I become infuriated with parents who had the audacity to emotionally or physically abuse their children. No matter how much understanding I have of parental dysfunction, it is simply heartbreaking to know that a perfect human… Continue reading You Were Born That Way
I thought of an interesting fact today…. Not one of the couples that I have ever counseled has come in with a feeling of being appreciated by the other partner. Repeat: Appreciation of one another is always absent in the relationships that are in trouble or are problematic. We hear a lot about Gratitude these… Continue reading Save Your Relationship with Gratitude
Have you ever told a lie? Most of us have even if it was a 'little white lie' that protected the feelings of someone we love. Sometimes a lie is kind "no honey, those pants don't make your butt look big". Sometimes a lie is compassionate "I'm sure he didn't feel any pain in those… Continue reading “What’s Wrong Honey?”: When We Lie…
I loved taking drives with my mother at any age because we would always find an ice cream stand. No matter how many years went by her order was always a large vanilla twist and I can't see one today without thinking of her - I miss you mom. In her later years she seemed… Continue reading Judge Me Not
… Or so many people think. In fact, feeling like one is IN control is necessary at least in the context of your own well-being. I personally, have a few ‘control issues’ and proclaim them loudly now that I have an understanding of how they manifest and why they are part of my personality makeup.… Continue reading Control is a Bad Word…