I often witness conversational exchanges between two people where one of the individuals expresses themselves by harshly criticizing the other: “You are always telling lies” “You don’t have any self-respect” “You never listen” “I can never trust you” “That was a dumb mistake” And so on. I will usually observe this type of exchange long… Continue reading A Slow and Painful Death
In the course of couple’s therapy I am almost always investigating the extent to which the couple is navigating their partnership. As may be imagined, the entire model of ‘partnership’ is generally broken when a couple is in crisis. It becomes essential then to reestablish parameters and potentially renegotiate how their partnership looks and works.… Continue reading Partnerships Defined – the anatomy of a good relationship
I can’t keep track of how many times a week I talk about removing the word YOU from statements when people are talking to one another and most importantly, the phrase “you make me”…. Let’s face it… in most cases NO ONE is MAKING you … anything. When we use the vernacular “you make me”… Continue reading No One is “Making” you….
My brother recently married and with wedding season about to step into full swing I thought it appropo to share here, some of the sisterly (dusted with professional) advice that was offered. Whether you are about to be married or are deep into the commitment, the following can serve as a reminder for those little… Continue reading When Forever Feels Like A Long Time – Thoughts about Marriage
I thought of an interesting fact today…. Not one of the couples that I have ever counseled has come in with a feeling of being appreciated by the other partner. Repeat: Appreciation of one another is always absent in the relationships that are in trouble or are problematic. We hear a lot about Gratitude these… Continue reading Save Your Relationship with Gratitude
My mother was known to say “I love you deeply but right now I don’t like you very much.” Think about it… The hardest relationships to maintain and carry on day to day are the ones with those individuals that we see most often, spend the most time with; our significant others and family members… Continue reading You’ve Got a Rash!
I heard a story awhile back about an older couple who decided to try counseling before calling it quits after 40 years of marriage and when they sat down with the counselor for the first time the therapist turned to the gentleman and asked “How would you describe the problem in your marriage?” – The… Continue reading Love Language