I often witness conversational exchanges between two people where one of the individuals expresses themselves by harshly criticizing the other: “You are always telling lies” “You don’t have any self-respect” “You never listen” “I can never trust you” “That was a dumb mistake” And so on. I will usually observe this type of exchange long… Continue reading A Slow and Painful Death
In the course of couple’s therapy I am almost always investigating the extent to which the couple is navigating their partnership. As may be imagined, the entire model of ‘partnership’ is generally broken when a couple is in crisis. It becomes essential then to reestablish parameters and potentially renegotiate how their partnership looks and works.… Continue reading Partnerships Defined – the anatomy of a good relationship
My brother recently married and with wedding season about to step into full swing I thought it appropo to share here, some of the sisterly (dusted with professional) advice that was offered. Whether you are about to be married or are deep into the commitment, the following can serve as a reminder for those little… Continue reading When Forever Feels Like A Long Time – Thoughts about Marriage
We’ve grown up and now exist within a culture where ‘comfort’ is coveted. We keep our homes at comfortable temperatures; we purchase comfortable sofas, and buy extra padding for our beds. Our clothing is encouraged to be comfortable and there is a common distaste for pieces that restrict; corsets, neckties, stilettos, and whitey tighties. We… Continue reading Get Uncomfortable and Grow!
Yesterday I made the claim to a client that "We all are ashamed of something", which I believe to be true. Shame is a self-destructive emotion. I frequently work with clients to stare it down, share their story, acknowledge the lesson, and begin to forgive as an antidote to most shame but to do that,… Continue reading Begin with Being Vulnerable
Each of us has a set of values, hopes, dreams, and a ‘code’ that we would like to live by. Some of us are conscious of it, others ‘feel’ it, but may not be able to explain it in words. We know what all these things are because when they exist in our lives we… Continue reading Be Happy – Set Boundaries!
I am always so deeply saddened when I meet with clients who were never taught that they are lovable. I become infuriated with parents who had the audacity to emotionally or physically abuse their children. No matter how much understanding I have of parental dysfunction, it is simply heartbreaking to know that a perfect human… Continue reading You Were Born That Way