I often witness conversational exchanges between two people where one of the individuals expresses themselves by harshly criticizing the other: “You are always telling lies” “You don’t have any self-respect” “You never listen” “I can never trust you” “That was a dumb mistake” And so on. I will usually observe this type of exchange long… Continue reading A Slow and Painful Death
I can’t keep track of how many times a week I talk about removing the word YOU from statements when people are talking to one another and most importantly, the phrase “you make me”…. Let’s face it… in most cases NO ONE is MAKING you … anything. When we use the vernacular “you make me”… Continue reading No One is “Making” you….
This is the second post inspired by Dr. Brenee Brown’s TED talk on Vulnerability. One of the statements she made was regarding ‘shame’ was “the less you talk about it – the more you have it”; a statement I feel needs more discussion. Occasionally, clients will talk about having a ‘secret’, something they’ve held onto… Continue reading Ditch the Secret – Talk About It!
We’ve grown up and now exist within a culture where ‘comfort’ is coveted. We keep our homes at comfortable temperatures; we purchase comfortable sofas, and buy extra padding for our beds. Our clothing is encouraged to be comfortable and there is a common distaste for pieces that restrict; corsets, neckties, stilettos, and whitey tighties. We… Continue reading Get Uncomfortable and Grow!
Yesterday I made the claim to a client that "We all are ashamed of something", which I believe to be true. Shame is a self-destructive emotion. I frequently work with clients to stare it down, share their story, acknowledge the lesson, and begin to forgive as an antidote to most shame but to do that,… Continue reading Begin with Being Vulnerable
I thought of an interesting fact today…. Not one of the couples that I have ever counseled has come in with a feeling of being appreciated by the other partner. Repeat: Appreciation of one another is always absent in the relationships that are in trouble or are problematic. We hear a lot about Gratitude these… Continue reading Save Your Relationship with Gratitude
Have you ever told a lie? Most of us have even if it was a 'little white lie' that protected the feelings of someone we love. Sometimes a lie is kind "no honey, those pants don't make your butt look big". Sometimes a lie is compassionate "I'm sure he didn't feel any pain in those… Continue reading “What’s Wrong Honey?”: When We Lie…