I often witness conversational exchanges between two people where one of the individuals expresses themselves by harshly criticizing the other: “You are always telling lies” “You don’t have any self-respect” “You never listen” “I can never trust you” “That was a dumb mistake” And so on. I will usually observe this type of exchange long… Continue reading A Slow and Painful Death
In the course of couple’s therapy I am almost always investigating the extent to which the couple is navigating their partnership. As may be imagined, the entire model of ‘partnership’ is generally broken when a couple is in crisis. It becomes essential then to reestablish parameters and potentially renegotiate how their partnership looks and works.… Continue reading Partnerships Defined – the anatomy of a good relationship
My brother recently married and with wedding season about to step into full swing I thought it appropo to share here, some of the sisterly (dusted with professional) advice that was offered. Whether you are about to be married or are deep into the commitment, the following can serve as a reminder for those little… Continue reading When Forever Feels Like A Long Time – Thoughts about Marriage
You can only accept the love you think you deserve..... In a previous post, I wrote about feeling lovable, about thinking through the old, incorrect, internal messages that you may have grown up with that somehow convinced you that you "didn't deserve it" or "you weren't worth it".... but this post is really for the people… Continue reading If You Aren’t Worth It – What your partner needs to know
I heard a story awhile back about an older couple who decided to try counseling before calling it quits after 40 years of marriage and when they sat down with the counselor for the first time the therapist turned to the gentleman and asked “How would you describe the problem in your marriage?” – The… Continue reading Love Language
How many times have we used the phrase “You make me so ____!!”? You can fill in the blank with angry, sad, hurt, annoyed, happy, etc. I hear it in counseling sessions daily. Those four little words have become so implanted in our vernacular that we don’t pay attention to the actuality of the statement.… Continue reading You Make Me…
In yesterday's post Change your REaction, I made the following statement ... Please don't make the mistake that IF your partner / loved one LOVES you he/she will change their behavior because they care about you. Chances are – they DO care about you – but are too caught up in their own “stuff” to make the… Continue reading If He Loved Me … NOT!