I often witness conversational exchanges between two people where one of the individuals expresses themselves by harshly criticizing the other: “You are always telling lies” “You don’t have any self-respect” “You never listen” “I can never trust you” “That was a dumb mistake” And so on. I will usually observe this type of exchange long… Continue reading A Slow and Painful Death
In the course of couple’s therapy I am almost always investigating the extent to which the couple is navigating their partnership. As may be imagined, the entire model of ‘partnership’ is generally broken when a couple is in crisis. It becomes essential then to reestablish parameters and potentially renegotiate how their partnership looks and works.… Continue reading Partnerships Defined – the anatomy of a good relationship
I can’t keep track of how many times a week I talk about removing the word YOU from statements when people are talking to one another and most importantly, the phrase “you make me”…. Let’s face it… in most cases NO ONE is MAKING you … anything. When we use the vernacular “you make me”… Continue reading No One is “Making” you….
My brother recently married and with wedding season about to step into full swing I thought it appropo to share here, some of the sisterly (dusted with professional) advice that was offered. Whether you are about to be married or are deep into the commitment, the following can serve as a reminder for those little… Continue reading When Forever Feels Like A Long Time – Thoughts about Marriage
Each of us has a set of values, hopes, dreams, and a ‘code’ that we would like to live by. Some of us are conscious of it, others ‘feel’ it, but may not be able to explain it in words. We know what all these things are because when they exist in our lives we… Continue reading Be Happy – Set Boundaries!
You can only accept the love you think you deserve..... In a previous post, I wrote about feeling lovable, about thinking through the old, incorrect, internal messages that you may have grown up with that somehow convinced you that you "didn't deserve it" or "you weren't worth it".... but this post is really for the people… Continue reading If You Aren’t Worth It – What your partner needs to know
I thought of an interesting fact today…. Not one of the couples that I have ever counseled has come in with a feeling of being appreciated by the other partner. Repeat: Appreciation of one another is always absent in the relationships that are in trouble or are problematic. We hear a lot about Gratitude these… Continue reading Save Your Relationship with Gratitude